How to Get Anything You Want

Hey there everyone. Welcome back to episode. Number two of the artworks for teachers podcast. So I’m your host, Susan Riley. I’m excited to be here with you again today. Now this is gonna be the last episode of just me for a little while, because I have some interviews coming up next week. We’re gonna be hearing from Meryl Goldberg and her incredible story of being a spy, uh, through music.

I, it just blows my mind every time I hear this story. Um, so we’re gonna hear about that journey as well as, um, how she became an arts integration specialist and what she does in that re in that arena as well. So it’s just, it’s gonna be a great time, um, with Merrill and, uh, so you have that to look forward to for next week, this week.

Um, I’m gonna be with you today because I wanna talk about something that I think is really important, and that is the idea that you can get anything you want. Which sounds like click bait. right. It’s like when you, when somebody on your Facebook feeds says, here’s the formula to get everything that you want in life.

Um, and it entails sitting around doing meditation and, um, you know, asking the universe to provide which there’s nothing wrong with that. And by the way, I do use meditation and you know, so I’m not making fun exactly. But I know what it sounds like when you say, um, here’s how to get anything you want. Um, and for years I thought that’s not true.

You can’t possibly do that. Um, but here’s what I’ve actually discovered. This is actually possible, but it requires a total shift in your mind for what you’re thinking. To what you’re feeling to what your actions are and then the results that you get. And so I learned this formula and it really is like a formula kinda, it’s it really more like a model.

I learned this model from my coach, Brooke, Brooke Castillo, and I wanted to share it with you today. Um, I think it’s super helpful for us as, as people, but also as educators to push past the roadblocks that get in our way and then help us to get to where we wanna be. Particularly now, when we’re all kind of thinking like, is this what I wanna do?

Is this where I wanna be? Um, what’s next for me, these are all really good questions and they’re really difficult to answer. So, um, when we’re thinking about. I think the hardest question for all of us to answer is what do you want? Right? So this model is gonna help us understand how to get what you want, but the bigger, more important question.

Remember from last week we talked about, um, more asking, better questions. I think the better question to ask. What do you want? And I think it is the most difficult question for us as humans to answer, uh, because at various stages of our lives, we definitely want different things. Right. And so it’s constantly changing.

And also there’s a whole lot of feelings that go into what you want. Right. There’s feelings of, I shouldn’t want that. Like, if you want a million dollars this year, You can say that in your head, but are you gonna say that out loud to somebody else? right. Like, because there’s a part of you, that’s probably like, I shouldn’t want that.

Right. I should want something like world peace and I should phrase it that way. I want a million dollars so that I can do this with it. Right. So that it has a qualifier on it because we feel bad if we don’t put that qualifier on it. So there’s lots of feelings that crop up with things that we. Um, if we think that we shouldn’t have them, if we think that it’s, we’re playing too small, if we’re playing too big, there’s so much wrapped up into what you want.

Right. And then when you think about. Is this something that I really want. And is it gonna benefit me long term or is it just something that I want in the moment? And so what are you asking me? Are you asking me for right now? Like right now I could really use a Wendy’s frosty. Uh, but you know, next week I’m gonna hate that Wendy’s frost when I gotta be on the Peloton for another 30 minutes.

Right. So , so when you ask that question of all of us, what do you want? I think it’s the most difficult question to answer. And so, um, We have to kind of think about no matter what it is that you want. Just pick something, how do we then achieve it? That’s part one part two is why do we wanna even focus on this topic, right.

Particularly on this show, right? When we’re talking about how art works for teachers, well, why are we gonna focus on this? Well, a couple of reasons, because when we’re using creative approaches like arts integration or steam or project based learning or social, emotional learning through the arts, um, or other creative approaches with our students, our fear.

Um, of our, or our previous experiences, either the fear that we’re not good enough or that we don’t, we can’t do this because I don’t really have the background in it, or our previous experiences of trying and failing right. Often prevent us from being successful. Right. So, um, Where I want to use more creative approaches in my classroom.

But, um, I flopped when I tried it before, or my students didn’t respond well previously, or my curriculum doesn’t have enough space in it. And I really don’t have time and I’m being judged and evaluated based on the reading curriculum and the math curriculum. So I can’t right. So we have all of these things that surround us when we want to use more creative approaches, but we have these roadblock.

So this is a model to help us overcome that. Right. And also just from a human aspect, you have big dreams and goals and you deserve to reach them. I know that you do. I, I know that you have big dreams sitting somewhere inside of you and some of you are like, heck yes I do. And here’s exactly what they are.

And some of you, you don’t wanna acknowledge them. If you reach for more, it feels like you are not grateful for what you have and that’s untrue as well. So you have these dreams, you have these goals for yourself and you deserve to be able to reach them. So I wanna share this model with you because it has literally changed everything about how I operate.

Um, and I have found this so helpful for me and literally the more you do it, the better you get at it. So it’s something that requires practice. And so I wanna introduce it early because we’ll refer to it over time. Um, this model of how do I get anything that you want? Right. So when I’ve used this model, I’ve gotten what I set out to achieve every single time.

And I want that for you too. I don’t want you to have the success because there you can’t fail in this model. You really can’t. There’s one spot where you can, um, get stuck, but you can’t fail if you use the model. So now, if you are kinda like, I don’t know about this, like. Again, sounds click baby. Right. Um, and literally I tried to find any other title other than this one, but like I landed on this one because literally the truth it’s, it’s how I’ve, uh, been able to kind of get whatever it is that I wanted.

I’ve shared it with my family and they’ve had success at it as well. I shared it with my team and suddenly my team members are getting successful at these things that they want. So. That’s why I’m sharing it. Right. So, but if you don’t believe it’s possible, there’s another, um, another person that I know who has used this model and he has been extremely successful.

Um, he is an artist that I think you might know. Um, he used to, he used this model to kind of kickstart his own goals. So on February 7th, 1964, Billy Joel was watching the Beatles arrive in America for the very first time. And when he saw them, it was like a lightning bolt, a dream that he didn’t even know that he had kind of bubbled right to the surface.

And it was the only thing that he could think about then. It took shape and it was the, the thing that then defined him. And it was that he decided in that moment that he wanted to become a rock and roll musician. Now he’s 15 at the time. Right. And if you think back to when you were 15 and you were so sure of what it was that you wanted at the time, right.

To have that level of, of assuredness again would be amazing. Right. And so at 15, that’s not such a, um, A rarity right. To say, oh, I wanna be a rock and roll musician. But for Billy Joel, this was a little different because he had always been a musician. He had been playing the piano since he was three. Um, he was in bands for a, for all kinds of different bands at different seasons of his life.

Um, so certainly he knew that, you know, music was what called to him, that it was in the, the moment that he saw the Beatles. He realized that it was possible for. Anyone, even people who were from areas of, of London that were, you know, not the most reputable for anybody to become the, a rock and roll musician.

And so he decided that’s what he wanted to be, but he had this issue, right. He had always, um, been playing the piano. He, this is where his, his musical genius lies. Right. He’s in the piano. Um, He had been mostly playing classical music. All of his life. Now he would take these classical tunes and kind of twist them around.

And so he, and that was kind of his, his way of cheating it. Right. He would get , he would start on a Mozart Sonata and then, um, or a, um, or a Beethoven, uh, piece and like get the, a first part of it and then just kind of start to improvise and play around with it. So you have this ability to kind of twist classical music into something new and different.

Um, but it wasn’t something that he did more than just for himself. Right. So. Soon as after he kind of saw the Beatles come in and he realized, this is what I wanna do. He was really, he was like, I can’t keep playing just classical music. I need to kind of start to move this into the rock and roll realm.

So soon, the, the Mozart Sonata and sea, uh, became the melody inspiration for uptown girl. And Beethoven Sonata became the hook for this night. And so these pieces of music started to generate kind of all on their own, but he encountered another problem. Most songwriters wrote the lyrics first and then the music.

Right. But Billy had always heard the music first and really struggled with the lyrics and his dreams of becoming a musician like his idols. The Beatles were. Really started to seem impossible because the Beatles were known for writing the lyrics on a napkin and then going and writing the music to the accompaniment and having it be this big, hit, everything kind of latched on those lyrics.

And he really had a difficult time with that. Right. So how could you create a hit song if you didn’t have the. So, what he did was he took it back to his band and he would take his music and start with a, a bunch of lyrics and his band would give him like absolute feedback. And it was the best kind of feedback.

It wasn’t flowery. It wasn’t, it was like straight to the point, man, that stinks. It needs to change over to this or that really doesn’t land or that works. But this part doesn. And so he took that feedback and he kept pushing and working as a piano player in local bars to build up his experience and getting that feedback from even the, the patrons themselves.

Right. Then he started to notice the patrons and started listening to what they were saying and took that in and kind of pulled it all together. And eventually these words ended up as the music. For his hit song, piano man. Right? Giving him the confidence to then keep writing songs. Cuz once he had a hit, he kind of figured out, oh, here’s how I did that.

And he went back and he listened some more and he asked more questions of people and he listened to his audience members and took more of that and put it into his next set of songs. And he kept building that one after the other, after the other. And now he’s one of the greatest rock role musicians of our.

So what this model is, if you’re not familiar with it is called the four C model and the four CS are commitment, courage, capability, and confidence. And so I’m gonna share my screen for those of you who are watching on video, I’m gonna share my screen so that you can see the worksheet. If you are not watching the video.

If you’re listening to this as a podcast, remember to come on over to arts integration.com/artworks, and you’re gonna be able to download this resource as well as all of the other resources from our other episodes. So you can see the four C model to get anything you want. We’ve got commitment, courage, capability, and confidence.

So the first step to, to working on your own goals or whatever it is that you’re working towards is a commitment, right? That this is when you have a thought to do something and you make a decision to do it. Right. Um, I’m gonna decide that this is the year that I use arts integration. This is the year that I’m not gonna take work home after 4:00 PM that I’m done.

Right. So I’m gonna be able to have a home life , um, whatever your decision is, that’s your commitment. Now? What happens when you, when you make a commitment? What’s the, the very first thing that happens to you? Your brain immediately begins to come up with excuses for all kinds of reasons. Why you cannot do that commitment that you, that you’ve promised to yourself, right?

And this is just your brain protecting you. This is the amygdala that we have that have that fight or flight response, right? That, that old piece of our brain from when we were hunters and gatherers, that here’s all the reasons why your decision might not be the best decision for you, right. Um, it’s an evolutionary habit, right?

So what your brain does is it starts to fill in your fears with a lot of different voices. So, because a decision is different than what you’re currently doing. You need courage to face. The natural objections that rise to the surface. Things like fear or anger or frustration, or I can’t do it. I’m not good enough.

This is too hard. I don’t really need or want this. This is the area we get stuck. Sometimes this is referred to as the river of misery, because nothing in this area. Number two feels. It all feels really crappy. Negative. Just, it feels like too hard that we can’t do it, but if we can stick it out into the courage phase, And reframe those fears into more positive action steps.

And when I say positive, I’m not saying we will. I’m saying we’re actually gonna move forward with something, something we’re gonna reframe the, um, the fear or the anger or the frustration into something that causes us to take. If we can do that, then what happens is that we build capability, right?

Because once you face your objections and you push forward, you’re gonna find that you’re capable of achieving your original decision or commitment. And then it feels great. And once you have that under your belt, you have proven that you’re capable of achieving that commitment. And it gives you confidence that you can do the next thing that you wanna achieve or change.

So this is how you get to whatever it is that you want. And so in the worksheet that we have, we have this outlined and then we have a space on the right for your turn, where there’s a couple of questions that guide you through this. So the first one is what’s your decision or commitment, write it down, then how does it make you feel?

And you’re probably not gonna feel really good about it. You might feel good about it for like 24 hours. Maybe a week and then then after that first 24 hours or that week, you start to notice like all the reasons why you can’t keep up with that commitment. Right. So what does that make you feel then write that down.

How can we reframe those feelings into something that’s more useful to us? And when you reframe your feelings into something that’s more useful, you can then take action on those feelings. What does that action look like for you? And then based on your actions that occur, what are the results that happen?

Okay. So that’s the, the model in a nutshell. So here’s how the model plays out in and out of the classroom. So let’s, let’s take something, um, that’s outside of the classroom, which just something that a lot of people do, uh, trying to lose. Right. So, um, lots of people commit in January. We’re gonna, I’m gonna lose weight.

So they, they put that in there. I’m gonna lose 20 pounds in, uh, two months. Okay. So we put that in there. How does that make me feel? Well at the beginning, that makes me feel really empowered. Right? When I’m doing this in January, I’m like, yes, I’m gonna do that. That makes me feel strong and confident, and I’m gonna be more healthy.

And in about 48 hours, Um, after I’ve eliminated, you know, all of the good stuff, the, the sugar and the white bread and I’ve cut back my portion sizes and no more dessert. I suddenly get to the point where my body is like no kicking and screaming. I don’t wanna do this. I don’t wanna do this. This stinks, right?

This is painful. I have a headache. I can’t do this because if I eliminate sugars, I get massive migraines and I just can’t do that. Right. I can’t possibly keep that up or I could do this maybe for a couple of months, but then I’m not gonna be able to keep sustain it. Like I I’m not. Gonna be able to not eat sugar again.

So I might as well just, you know, give up now and just try to moderate it a little bit. Right. That those are the things that we start to write down. Right. So if we reframe some of those feelings, which are just fear and frustration, um, kind of manifesting themselves the top, if we reframe some of those things in.

When by cutting sugar out, I am gonna get a migraine. I can prepare for that with some ibuprofen or if I need, you know, my Imitrex, I can have that on hand. I, I know that’s coming and that’s because the sugar was bad for me. And that should be an indicator for me that I really shouldn’t be on that sugar.

Right. I’m so now I’m gonna cut out sugar because it’s bad for my. And I really need my brain to operate well. Right. so, um, that’s gonna make me feel a little bit more empowered because I’m making a decision now that is based on the fact that this wasn’t good for me, and I really need to not, um, have this in my life because it does give me migraines.

It’s a bad experience. Or if it’s the, the, I can’t get rid of this for all time, that’s not sustainable. So I’m only gonna moderate. Well, when we moderate, it doesn’t necessarily help us either, because then we’re always doing that cheat day. Right. So cuz every day becomes a cheat day. Oh, I’ll just do a little bit here and, and suddenly it’s not working anymore.

Right. We didn’t meet our commitment. So how can I reframe that? Um, I can set aside. Saturday night to have a dessert of my choosing, but it can only be before 7:00 PM so that my body, um, you know, has time to process everything. And it can only be the size of my fist. That’s the size of, of whatever it is that I’m gonna have.

Um, which takes a fun out of it. Uh but what it does is it really focuses in on here’s okay. If I’m gonna choose moderation, then I’m gonna choose exactly what it is that I’m gonna have. And when, again, I reframe that so that I can take a positive action step that is going to lead to more positive things in the future.

Right. So now when I’ve reframed that, what actions can I take? So I know that I can make sure that I’m not. Cheating or having anything additional, uh, in my diet until that’s Saturday and hopefully that’s worth it then. Right. And I’m gonna choose really carefully. And then what are my results? Well, if you’re, if you’re cutting out everything and only having that one little dessert on Saturdays, you’re gonna see results, right?

Like that’s the results you’re gonna get. And is it gonna meet your decision or commitment? Probably. Right. So that’s an example of how to use. In, just outside of the classroom, if we’re gonna talk about, um, like something in the classroom, like let’s say we’re gonna use arts integration. This. So my commitment is to use arts integration this year, um, with my students.

And then how does that make me feel at the beginning? That’s great. This is gonna be something that those students are gonna love, and I’m gonna gonna really enjoy doing with them. It’s gonna bring back my creative spark and then. You’re gonna hit a wall because you don’t know the standards in another content area, or you don’t have an art teacher who’s willing to collaborate with you, or, um, you don’t have a classroom teacher who’s willing to collaborate with you or all of these other things that happen.

And so then we’re stuck in that courage area. So how do we get courage to reframe what it is that’s happening? So if the, um, art teacher won’t work with. Can I find another arts teacher who’s willing to work with me, maybe the music teacher, um, maybe a local dance, uh, teaching artist could support me. Is there, um, can I send a, uh, a sample lesson of something that I wanna connect with and ask that particular person just kind of save them time and say, Hey, is there something that you do along these lines?

Um, I would like. To develop something like this doesn’t have to happen tomorrow, but I am planning on doing this within the next month. Can you help me? Um, so that again, you are taking the initiative there, right? You still can’t get somebody to work with you. Can you find somebody online? Is there an online group that you could go to to get that support?

Um, if you run into the robot of, I can’t find standards and I don’t have time to do this, how can I save myself time? Is there something out there that’s already done that I can try to use instead of trying to recreate the wheel? Right. So how do I reframe all of the, the pushback that my brain is gonna give me?

Once I reframe it, then what action steps can I take? Well, if I can find resources online of, of lessons that have already been created, I can use those lessons, plug ’em in and give them a try. And then I will be taking action on my decision or commitment, and then I’m gonna be able to see the results of working with that decision.

Right. So again, this model really does work. It’s about your thoughts, which I think is so exciting because our thoughts are really what change everything for us. And we have total control of our thoughts. Absolutely. So if you wanna change or get anything you want, you just have to change your thought process.

Now I say just because it sounds like it. Oh, that’s so easy. It’s. Right. we have a, we have so many thoughts per day, and most of them are on the same loop. So changing our thoughts are really difficult, but if we can know that the reason I’m stuck here, the reason that this doesn’t feel good, the reason that, um, this, I don’t feel like I’m making progress or that I’m not seeing success in whatever it is that I’m trying to do.

Is because I have a thought error somewhere and I need to change the thought and change the feeling. Then I can have better actions that is so empowering. Um, so when we’re using this model, I want us to think about. The idea that courage is tethered through curiosity, the way that you pass through that river of misery, the, that courage area is by moving through your feelings and resistance.

And how do you do that by getting curious about why you’re feeling this way or why you’re resisting the change and then take that why, and reframe it in your mind onto something more empowering. Now we see. All the time in our arts integration certification program, people come in and they’re so excited in sprint one.

And then they get really, really frustrated really quickly. They have all of these things that they’re now trying to do. And they have a lot of resistance, a lot of fear. And so this is the area where we’re constantly coaching them and working with them around. We can move through this. We just have to identify why you’re feeling this way.

Why are you resisting the idea of standards? Connection? Why are you resisting working with another content area or working on a different grade level? So, and then once you answer the why we can break it down and work through it, right? Everything is on the other side of your fear. So if you can find the courage to be curious and then create different thoughts, you can literally have anything you want.

Right? Lastly, you have to be very clear about what you want. We talked about this at the top of the episode. It is one of the most difficult questions that we can face. And I’m gonna be exploring a process for clarifying what you want in a future episode. But in the meantime, I want you to think of it the way Billy Joel writes music, write it backwards.

Think about, to get to what you want, think about what you don’t want and then work backwards. Don’t forget to stop by our podcast episode page over at arts integration.com/artworks to pick up today’s handout for the four C model. Um, look for episode two. That’s where that is. And if you’re enjoying this series and know of another educator who could benefit, please share it with them and make sure that you subscribe to get each new episode in your, uh, your podcast area every single Thursday.

Until next time, my friend stay curious. And creative.